Zu kurz für das AlterI've been wondering and asking myself, why don't I have the motivation to make this post? Certainly we had great moments and great songs this year, too. And awful ones. Why was I not keen on writing this?
Because it was a bit lame. I am not a fan of Lena (mildly put), and didn't like her song and was sad that she won last year. But her victory had two positive results, I thought. 1. Germany will shut the fuck up about how unfair the voting is, about how political the Eastern European countries assign their points, and about how irrelevant and antiquated the Song Contest is. 2. Germany, as a country crazy about Eurovision, will deliver a spectacular, awesome and simply fantastic show, better than everything before.
Well, I was wrong. Not with the first point (suddenly, what do you know, Eurovision is a sign of good taste...), but with the second.
The show was dull. Rigid, boring, a bit embarrassing. Ok, you will say that it's like that every year, and this is true for the hosts and the scripted dialogues and jokes they make on stage. But somehow, I don't know why, also in the "half-time shows" the spark was missing, the magic, the power. Playing this goddamn 'satellite' song in a school punk band kind of way was childish, strangely dry and worst of all, it didn't feel like Eurovision. Jan Delay was kind of... well, there was nothing really that you missed if you didn't see it. It seemed, as most of the show pieces, somehow missing passion and missing the instinctive feeling of "Eurovision". This wasn't some "Next superstar" talent show, you know? But it felt like it.
So, as an event, it just didn't feel as good this year. As I tried to explain above, the spark was missing for most parts of the show - at least for me personally.
Well, the songs! After a more than disappointing first Semi (what the hell were they thinking...) the second Semi featured a fairly good share of stronger tunes and performances. Overall the level of good songs wasn't as high as last year, but there was a bit of everything and I felt very well entertained.
Even though there wasn't a song this year that I absolutely fell in love with, there were some magical moments when Georgia's singer raised her strong voice over the smashing metal riffs her band mates played, or when I realized that despite all the fuzz and the silliness, Ireland had an incredibly strong track that was just right all over, a total hit. Slovenia amazed us as well.
Austria did fairly well, a big voice and a small song - well, it worked out anyway, more or less.
The horrors were Armenia (I mean really, WTF), Iceland, Romania (unfortunately), Denmark, Portu-fucking-gal (what were you thinking??), and Germany, and in case you didn't notice, Lena is too fucking skinny - horrible, horrible, horrible. I don't know if he was kidding, but ORF commentator seriously said that Lena's song was in the good old German tradition of Trio or, hold on, Kraftwerk. Kraftwerk! LOL? Yeah, really? You heard Kraftwerk in there? Well good for you! But I guess you couldn't make it through the evening without drugs, it's ok.
Let's have a look at the songs then, shall we?
First Semi Final (Please note that the first 5 contestants had a really bad sound. A short commercial break after the first 5, and voila, the sound was better).
Poland Magdalena Tul "Jestem"
Gedämpfte Stimme, boring, schief.
S: 3, R: 3/4
Norway Stella Mwangi "Haba Haba"
Waka waka. "grandma" in lyrics ist nie gut. Casali, Calypso. okay.
S: 3/4, R: 3/4
Albania Aurela Gaçe "Feel the Passion"
Negura Bunget-Pop? Sehr viel... Tina Turner, Guns'n'Roses. Weird! GoldenEye.
S: ?, R: ?
Armenia Emmy "Boom Boom"
Bwahahahaha. WTF. Nooooooo. Karina. Horrible, altogether sucking really bad.
S: 5, R: 5 (with the potential for a black hole)
Turkey Yüksek Sadakat "Live It Up"
Glam Rock. Braucht kein Mensch. Fad. Und doch wieder Flügel!
S: 4, R: 4
Serbia Nina "Čaroban" (Чаробан)
Bunt. Wieder kein Balkan-Sound :-( 60ies Chicken dance
S: 3, R: 3
Russia Alexey Vorobyov "Get You"
English?? Stu-stu-studio Line. Nichtssagender Boygroup-Song.
Switzerland Anna Rossinelli "In Love for a While"
Ayay, die Rosine. Ana. Too cherful, unoriginal, bubbles. So nett und fröhlich dass man einfach nur etwas zerstören möchte.
S: 4, R: 4/5
Georgia Eldrine "One More Day"
Uiui! The singer is Lacey Chabert! (Check "Mean Girls"). A rapper, why??? Kann echt singen, und rockt! Sie rockt!!
S: 1/2, R: 2
Finland Paradise Oskar "Da Da Dam"
Fängt schon schlimm an. "appletree", wieder etwas, das eigentlich nie gut in lyrics ist. Booooring. Singt aber ok, der junge Mann.
S: 4/5, R: 4/5
Malta Glen Vella "One Life"
Mr President. Eurodaaaaance! 3 Nadine Beilers als Background-Sängerinnen. Gay disco.
S: 3, R: 3
San Marino Senit "Stand By"
Nooo, da gibts wohl doch eine Windmaschine - ihre Frisur scheint voll hineingeraten zu sein. Rotfl @ Lyrics. "If you don't mind I will be here", the stalker song. James Bond. Furchtbarer Refrain. We do mind.
S: 5, R: 5
Croatia Daria "Celebrate"
Sound: Maxx. Zauberer, the vocals don't fit the tune, unfortunately.
S: 4, R: 4
Iceland Sjonni's Friends "Coming Home"
Quinton's band. Wäh, no..... WTF - drummer - Sattel.
S:
R:
Hungary Kati Wolf "What About My Dreams?"
Zu kurz, one arm. Eurodance! Der Ungarische Teil des Songs ist viel besser. pretty powerful.
S: 2/3, R: 2/3
Portugal Homens da Luta "A luta é alegria"
Yeah, fuck you. Like an ugly, retarded version of Village People.
S + R:
Lithuania Evelina Sašenko "C'est ma vie"
Geklimper. Song-Contest-Ballade, wie sie im Buche steht. Mit Drama und allem, übertrieben und öd.
S: 3/4, R: 3/4
Azerbaijan Ell and Nikki "Running Scared"
JLo. Not bad. The chorus is sort of original.
S: 3, R: 3
Greece Loukas Giorkas feat. Stereo Mike "Watch My Dance"
Piqué. He cannot rap, my God. Mascara. Weird Rembetiko.
S: ?, R: ?
Second Semi FinalBosnia and Herzegovina Dino Merlin "Love in Rewind"
English?? Why??? Nice song, Jarka is there. Chicken dance and carousel in the performance.
S: 3, R: 3
Austria Nadine Beiler "The Secret Is Love"
Öder song, aber mit einer tollen Mariah Carey am Mikro. Outfit: kurz. Performance: Chicago.
S: 3, R: 2/3
Österreich-Bonus.
Netherlands 3JS "Never Alone"
Never alone, huh? Because of the voices you hear in your head? Ein Sandler und ein schlimmes Gezappel. Just no.
S: 4/5, R: 5
Belgium Witloof Bay "With Love Baby"
I see what you did there... but no. Barely got through it. Der belgische Nicolas Cage ist auch da. Alle ugly, leider.
S: ?, R: ?
Slovakia TWiiNS "I'm Still Alive"
Synthie-Brummen, Aggro-Drums. Marcia Cross is an Alien. Schaß.
S: 3/4, R: 4
Ukraine Mika Newton "Angel"
Ethno-Pop? Ein bisschen öd. English :-( Wieder Flügel. Clevere Performance.
S: 3/4, R: 3/4
Moldova Zdob şi Zdub "So Lucky"
Happy Rage Against the Machine. Reverse ZZ Top. Yeah, fuck off.
S:
R:
Sweden Eric Saade "Popular"
Viel... Naja, singen kann er nicht so irre, aber eingängiger Song. Nette Jacke.
S: 2, R: 2
Cyprus Christos Mylordos "San aggelos s'agapisa" (Σαν άγγελος σ'αγάπησα)
Greek language!! woohoo. Interesting, aber nicht gut gesungen. Die Sängerin war vieeeel besser, mann, sie hätte die Lead vocals machen sollen. Dann auch noch "schief" - how fitting.
S: 2/3, R: 2/3
Bulgaria Poli Genova "Na inat" (На инат)
Tja schade, da singt endlich jemand Bulgarisch und es ist langweilig. Pop/Rock. Nice outfits. Alles gut außer dem Song.
S: 3, R: 2/3
Macedonia Vlatko Ilievski "Rusinka" (Русинкa)
Nicht schlecht, aber der Gesang... Schlimmer Gesang... Gute Ansätze, aber total zerschossen.
S: 4, R: 4/5
Israel Dana International "Ding Dong"
Tja... was soll man sagen. Dana International is a goddess, but she just didn't sing this one very well. The song is only average, too.
S: 3, R: 2/3
Slovenia Maja Keuc "No One"
Mamma mia. Christina Aguilera, great voice, performance, outfit (they want the boots). Echt gut.
S: 1/2, R: 1
Romania Hotel FM "Change"
Uuuuahhhhhh. Schaß, musical. Zum Vergessen. Und Englisch ist es auch, natürlich. Eine Tortur. Schnip, Klatsch, Point! S: 5, R: 5
Estonia Getter Jaani "Rockefeller Street"
Hahaha. Was?? Ist vor dem Refrain ganz kurz nicht so schlecht, nur um dann in den Horror zu fallen. 4 Songs at the same time. Fausta? Mascara. Song, what song?? Ist das ein Medley? Grease-Krocher sind auch dabei.
S: ? R: 4
Belarus Anastasia Vinnikova "I Love Belarus"
Instrumental gut, leider Englisch und völlig dämlich. Ohne Text wäre es besser gewesen. The president wrote the song.
S: 3/4, R: 3
Latvia Musiqq "Angel in Disguise"
Pop. Ok, aber zu normal. Knackwurst-Nacken. Rap = Scheiße.
S: 4, R: 4
Denmark A Friend in London "New Tomorrow"
WTF? Kann beim besten Willen nichts finden, das daran nicht scheiße ist. OMG.
S: 5, R:
Ireland Jedward "Lipstick"
Feiner Song. Moment, das ist ein Hit! Singen können sie nicht, brauchen sie hier aber auch nicht. Ziemlich perfekt alles, das passt einfach.
S: 1/2, R: 1/2
And the remaining FinalistsFrance Amaury Vassili "Sognu"
Tja. Meh. Wenn du wirklich Opern singen willst, musst du dich halt auch mit den Guten messen lassen. Und das ist einfach nix... It's ok, I guess.
S: 3/4, R: 3/4
Italy Raphael Gualazzi "Madness of Love"
Zweisprachig, Oh Gott..... Eh.... What's that???
S: X, R: ?
United Kingdom Blue "I Can"
Der Stagebanner sagt "ICAN". Painful song, the voices suck (weren't you better at singing in the past?), totally redundant.
S: 4/5, R: 5
Germany Lena "Taken by a Stranger"
Kind, du bist zu dünn. Sieht das niemand? Sie wird in der Mitte auseinanderbrechen. Komisch, alles daran ist komisch. Speed ice skaters in the background. Hat der Song schon begonnen?
S + R:
Spain Lucía Pérez "Que me quiten lo bailao"
At least it's in Spanish. boring, alright. Outfit: kurz. That kinda dance with those skirts?? Ah Halbtonschritt, I missed you :-)
S: 4, R: 3
That's it, kids. A couple of "wise words" from me to wrap this up:
- Why are you mixing your beautiful, unique and special mother tongue with English? Stop doing that! It ruins everything!
- The almost complete lack of Eurodance (or, at least, good quality Eurodance) was a big disappointment. As was the lack of turbofolky Balkan tunes.
- And stop bringing Rappers, thank you.
Azerbaijan, make it better than Germany next year! Good luck and see you in Baku!!
--Sapnish--
